i never claimed to know you. i CAN'T know you, because you were dead before i was born.
i just know what i've been told my entire life and how i was treated by my mother, who resented and feared me and hid why until i found out about the truth and confronted her with it. i know that someone i loved and trusted only wormed his way into my life because he wanted to set me up as the next you. i know he and his girlfriend nearly killed my sister and killed a bunch of her friends for the same reason. i know how i was treated when people found out i was your daughter and how people tried using that again to try to set me up as a murderer. i know how people are still gonna treat me when i get back because of that, even if evidence and witnesses prove i'm innocent.
i'm not particularly interested in knowing you, even if i have to live with you.
Christina, sorry, was pretty messed up. Was cheating on her boyfriend with me and had her own issues.
( She gave what Sidney wouldn't. And she had some substance abuse. She had a dark mind. She and Billy fit together in a way he didn't with Sidney, not after. )
Taking it out on you, because of me
I can't do anything about it
Just like I can't stop someone you loved from doing what he did because of what I did, and what others after me and before him did.
I don't remember trying to get to know you, Sam. And you haven't made any effort, so why would I think you were?
[ she'd spent years trying to hide it from tara, up until she couldn't anymore. up until she'd ran and let tara down by leaving her behind, because she was scared what her mother had told her might be right.
it had been, just not in the way she'd expected. ]
she loved you. did you know that? half her diary was about how infatuated she was, how she'd hoped you'd wise up and finally leave sidney. i think she was planning to tell you about me before everything went down.
[ she'd read about her discovery that she was pregnant, the debate on what to do, before and after it had happened. ]
i know you can't. i'm not asking you to. i'm just telling you where i'm coming from and a fraction of what i've lived through because of my association with you. that's not even touching what tara's been through because of her association with me.
you told us we should stay away. are you going back on that?
i have no idea what you're looking for, billy. that's what scares me.
[ she debates, for a long time, what to say to this particular response. she knows, in at least one case, why it was personal. but she's not sure if it would make it better or worse for him to hear it. she knows that debbie had left woodsboro, left him, after discovering his hank's affair with maureen and hadn't thought to look back until hearing what sidney had done. she doesn't know much else. to her, debbie's just another part of her lineage, another reason for people to decide she's dangerous because of her bloodline.
but, eventually: ]
it was personal for at least three of the others.
sidney's half-brother, sidney's cousin, and your mother.
[ he'd done an interview when her connection to billy had come out, disavowing her. she hadn't taken it personally, her own family hadn't wanted her either. except for tara. ]
i heard, yeah.
[ if it were anyone else she might bring up hank's role in things. that debbie didn't seem to have any concern about leaving him and maybe he just had shit parents.
but it's like she'd said. she has to live with him. and so does tara. so do the people she's come to care about. ]
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i just know what i've been told my entire life and how i was treated by my mother, who resented and feared me and hid why until i found out about the truth and confronted her with it. i know that someone i loved and trusted only wormed his way into my life because he wanted to set me up as the next you. i know he and his girlfriend nearly killed my sister and killed a bunch of her friends for the same reason. i know how i was treated when people found out i was your daughter and how people tried using that again to try to set me up as a murderer. i know how people are still gonna treat me when i get back because of that, even if evidence and witnesses prove i'm innocent.
i'm not particularly interested in knowing you, even if i have to live with you.
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Not herself, not me.
Christina, sorry, was pretty messed up. Was cheating on her boyfriend with me and had her own issues.
( She gave what Sidney wouldn't. And she had some substance abuse. She had a dark mind. She and Billy fit together in a way he didn't with Sidney, not after. )
Taking it out on you, because of me
I can't do anything about it
Just like I can't stop someone you loved from doing what he did because of what I did, and what others after me and before him did.
I don't remember trying to get to know you, Sam. And you haven't made any effort, so why would I think you were?
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[ she'd spent years trying to hide it from tara, up until she couldn't anymore. up until she'd ran and let tara down by leaving her behind, because she was scared what her mother had told her might be right.
it had been, just not in the way she'd expected. ]
she loved you. did you know that? half her diary was about how infatuated she was, how she'd hoped you'd wise up and finally leave sidney. i think she was planning to tell you about me before everything went down.
[ she'd read about her discovery that she was pregnant, the debate on what to do, before and after it had happened. ]
i know you can't. i'm not asking you to. i'm just telling you where i'm coming from and a fraction of what i've lived through because of my association with you. that's not even touching what tara's been through because of her association with me.
you told us we should stay away. are you going back on that?
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( told him. but, he was told to stay away from her. )
makes sense she'd drag you into it. we took Sid's dad. guessing every killer after me finds a way to make it personal, or else why do they even do it.
I guess except to start a "new franchise," which is a reason.
You wanted me to
I could see it in your eyes
I certainly didn't know what to say
So I said what I said
I'm not going to tell you what to do
I know you're scared
I know you love your sister
Neither of you are in danger
You're not Sidney, who killed me, to remind you. Well. And Gale Weathers.
You're not them and it sounds like you know more about me and what I did, what Stu did than I even do
You don't really think I'm looking for a part 2 here, do you?
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[ she debates, for a long time, what to say to this particular response. she knows, in at least one case, why it was personal. but she's not sure if it would make it better or worse for him to hear it. she knows that debbie had left woodsboro, left him, after discovering his hank's affair with maureen and hadn't thought to look back until hearing what sidney had done. she doesn't know much else. to her, debbie's just another part of her lineage, another reason for people to decide she's dangerous because of her bloodline.
but, eventually: ]
it was personal for at least three of the others.
sidney's half-brother, sidney's cousin, and your mother.
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Roman finally stepped up. Little Jill.
My mother?
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yes. the year after.
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Not my dad.
Roman got me into all of it. Did you know that? Showed me video of what Sid's mom did with my dad. Showed me whose fault it really was she took off.
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[ he'd done an interview when her connection to billy had come out, disavowing her. she hadn't taken it personally, her own family hadn't wanted her either. except for tara. ]
i heard, yeah.
[ if it were anyone else she might bring up hank's role in things. that debbie didn't seem to have any concern about leaving him and maybe he just had shit parents.
but it's like she'd said. she has to live with him. and so does tara. so do the people she's come to care about. ]
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As it should